IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance? What is your opinion?

#people #computers #hindrance #help
Most people see computers as being more of an obstruction than help. Many believe the human ability has greatly increased by PC.
This
 essay examines how computers could be regarded as a hindrance.
First
 of all,
Firstly
, people become overly dependent on computers.
For instance
, In the past, students had to go to the library to write articles, to search and look up books if they need to write an essay or researched before exams. For
Instead
, students today, simply want to look for information on the Internet quickly and don't pay sufficient attention to the origin of that information. As long as the information appears to be appropriate, it will only be copied and assigned to its tasks. The biggest obstacle will probably be special for teachers, some teachers when creating assignments to students, they need to consider between creating their topics or taking topics online so that students can easily find the answers judgements.
Second
 of all, Computers can affect people's health, we all know that the use of electronic devices will bring some harms like autism, depression, myopia or worse, it will change Human thoughts about a problem for examle, Constant computer gaming can cause someone to value events within the game more emotionally than things happen in their real lives, They'll see everything in a particular way, and sometimes they'll have illusions and misleading thinking about it, some people become soulless and uninterested in the real world and they're just focusing on the artificial world created by computers. To conclude, Computers will be perceived from different perspectives as obstacles rather than support, but it all depends on how people use them and most importantly, they need to reduce computer misuse and dependency and they need to understand that there is another world beyond computers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: