now a days, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. is this a negative or positive development?

#people #socialise #face #development

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The advent of social

media

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has revolutionized the way people interact, with many preferring online

socialization

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over face-to-face

interactions

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This

Linking Words

shift has sparked intense debate, with some hailing it as a breakthrough and others decrying it as a detrimental trend. In my opinion, the proliferation of online

socialization

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at the expense of in-person

interactions

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is a decidedly negative development. One significant drawback of online

socialization

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is the erosion of deep, meaningful relationships. In

India

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for instance

Linking Words

, the rising popularity of social

media

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platforms has led to a decline in community gatherings and family

interactions

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. A study by the Indian Journal of Psychology found that excessive social

media

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use among Indian youth correlates with increased feelings of loneliness and isolation.

This

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is alarming, as face-to-face

interactions

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are essential for emotional well-being and social skills development.

Furthermore

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, online

socialization

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also

Linking Words

perpetuates the culture of superficiality, where individuals present curated versions of themselves. In

India

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, the pressure to maintain a digital persona can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

For example

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, a survey by the National Commission for Women in

India

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revealed that 70% of women reported feeling unhappy with their bodies

due to

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social

media

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comparisons.

This

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highlights the damaging consequences of prioritizing online relationships over authentic, face-to-face connections. In conclusion, the trend of prioritizing online

socialization

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over face-to-face

interactions

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is a negative development. As evidenced by the examples from

India

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, it leads to shallow relationships, increased loneliness, and decreased self-esteem. To foster healthier social dynamics, it is crucial that we strike a balance between online connectivity and meaningful in-person

interactions

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Submitted by drnivyamohan1992 on Fri Nov 22 2024

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cohesion

To further strengthen cohesion, consider adding more transitional phrases to clearly link each paragraph and idea.

task response

Ensure every main point is accompanied by supporting details and/or examples, particularly those outside of the study context.

introduction/conclusion

The essay includes a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

task response

Examples from India were well-incorporated, making the argument concrete and relevant.

coherence

Logical structure is clear, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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now a days, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. is this a negative or positive development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Kids are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Nowadays people are living increasing an increasing longer life and in many countries, there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?