IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Compare the two plans of the Grange park, one from ts opening in 1920, the other from the present.

There are many reasons behind the rise /increase in the number of start-up companies.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people face difficulty acquiring a job of their preference / liking in the highly competitive market. Individuals who want to
work
Use synonyms
 in an esteemed organization or a well paid job needs to possess high academic qualification degrees or years of
work
Use synonyms
 experience.
Such
Linking Words
 requirements already disqualify a large section of job hunters.
Next
Linking Words
, a few people desire to become rich in shorter-period. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, a business can earn a person a hefty sum of money overnight as all the profit goes to the pocket of the owner.
However
Linking Words
, there are several drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
. To start with, there is no guarantee that a self employed person will earn enough to live a comfortable life. When people
work
Use synonyms
 for a company, they have the assurance of a guaranteed
paycheck
Suggestion
 at the end of the month;
however
Linking Words
, when they
work
Use synonyms
 for themselves
this
Linking Words
 guarantee is missing. Another disadvantage is that many self employed people
work
Use synonyms
 day and night and do not get time to spend with their family and friends.
Thus
Linking Words
, it creates an imbalance in their
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a huge difference can be seen in their daily routine which affects their health adversely. To recapitulate, working for oneself is definitely beneficial for young people because it enables them to
work
Use synonyms
 on their own terms;
however
Linking Words
, there are drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as the lack of a guaranteed
paycheck
Suggestion
 that need to be considered before choosing to be an entrepreneur.In conclusion the both plans
shows
Suggestion
show
 that some of the park features are transformed or replaced, but the main idea is the same.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: