IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, people tend to change many jobs during their lifetime. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #lifetime #trend
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The trend of switching
jobs
Use synonyms
 is becoming more popular among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters because of several factors which have more merits over the demerits.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain how they are gaining importance for changing the industry.
To begin
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with
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,with
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 the significant advantage is that people
are getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 a wide range of experience when they
switched
Wrong verb form
switch
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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jobs
Use synonyms
. Because they get to work with the latest technology
as well as
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 different working
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.
For instance
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, one employee is currently working with web
based
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web-based
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 company which only
use
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uses
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 the HTML language.
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However
Add a comma
,However
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 after changing to a new company which
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 more advanced language,
such
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 as JAVA,
BOOTSTRAP
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and BOOTSTRAP
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, employees will get experience
to learn
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in learning
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 new languages to build a website.
Moreover
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, switching
jobs
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 can be beneficial in terms of
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
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 in the pay scale. Generally, being in the same organization, employees will get only
2
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a 2
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-5% increment.
While
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,
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apply
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 in the new firm employees have more chance to get a higher package
compare
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to compare
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 to current one.
In addition
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,
there
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they
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 are more likely to get
promotion
Replace the word
promoted
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 in their position because it takes more years to get promoted in the same organization.
For example
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, if you are working as an executive, there might be a chance to get an offer at a
senior level
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senior-level
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 position in
different
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a different
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 corporate.
Nevertheless
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, there is
a
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apply
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one drawback of switching
jobs
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 in different
firm
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firms
show examples
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is to build
a
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apply
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trust among the employers and other higher
body
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bodies
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. It will become challenging to start with the new responsibilities
with
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in
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 the new environment.
However
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, that depends upon the individual's skills. Some people who are highly skilled can
make
Verb problem
do
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this
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 in a few months. All in
all
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,all
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 there are more benefits in terms of money
as well as
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 status in the organisation
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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too
Correct your spelling
to
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few
Correct article usage
the few
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 challenges which
usually
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are usually
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 faced in every company.
Submitted by mcp25992 on

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Grammar
Try improving your grammar for a higher score. For instance, 'compare too few challenges' should be 'compared to a few challenges'
Conclusion
Your essay lacks a robust conclusion. Try summarising your primary points in a strong concluding paragraph.
Content
Try to maintain a balanced view while explaining the pros and cons. The cons are less elaborative than the pros in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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