IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

#treatments #people’s #access #health #care #level #income #people #right #medicine
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In
this
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 day and age, ways of improving
health
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 have appeared to be a hotly debated issue in daily lives.
However
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, the more advanced medical treatments are, the more expensive they seem to be,
hence
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 the poor cannot get
access
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 to modern medical services. Some people argue that both of the affluent and the poor should have the right to get medical treatments equally. Personally, I completely agree with
this
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 idea and believe that people’s
access
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 to proper
health
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care
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 should not depend on the level of their incomes. It is undeniable that middle and lower classes have taken more serious diseases than the upper class due to lack of medical facilities, shortage of knowledgeable
health
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care
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 information and especially exorbitant fees.
Consequently
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, the current situation is mainly the wealthy, not the needy, can approach to the best medical treatments.
This
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 negative trend should be dealt with by letting the poor get
access
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 to advanced medical services.
Furthermore
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, the main aim of inventing modern
health
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care
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 methods is improving people’s lives, and the mission of every hospital is to try their best to save and help their patients recover.
Therefore
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, there should not have any discrimination against the poor during the curing process.
This
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 is not only the moral of a doctor, but
also
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 a humanitarian aspect.
In addition
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, the government and the more wealthy should raise funds and set up non-profit organizations which are managed to help poor and disabled people in terms of
health
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care
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.
Such
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 actions may make the scale of people suffering from common diseases decline significantly. In conclusion, every citizen has the right to
access
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 modern medical achievements irrespective of their financial status.
Also
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, the authorities should take actions to assist the poor.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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