IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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An individual's past decision and action is defining their character, some communities have the mindset that once a person is convicted of an offence, they are always considered a criminal. In my opinion, humans learn from their mistakes and leave the world of crime.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate on the reason behind these consequences before reaching a conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining it
further
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, I completely disagree with the statement. Studies have proven that a one-sided mindset and decision-making system are directly linked to a lack of education. People who judge others based on their past and provide character certificates are unable to have critical thinking abilities. With the cooperation of societies and governments, it is possible to eliminate unethical activities and guide individuals toward a successful career.
For example
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, a report in 2010 showed that numerous well-fair events conducted in jails and societies have completely reduced offensive activities and person become more ethical and responsible. Probing ahead, one of the main striking reasons stems from the fact is that inclined toward the crime world. Because, they are uneducated and unable to have experience in specific trades, by providing them with proper vocational skill training in sectors
such
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 as
,
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 plumbing, carpentering and construction work, they can develop valuable skills that enable them to earn a decent income and become respected citizens in society. To recapitulate,
according to
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 the aforementioned arguments, one reaches the conclusion that the mindset of "once a criminal, always an offender" is harmful to the community. Through the cooperation of society and authorities, we can successfully mitigate
this
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 tendency and foster an environment that helps offenders leave unethical paths behind.

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task achievement
While your introduction presents your opinion clearly, consider rephrasing the thesis statement for clarity and coherence. Try to more directly outline your main points in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically structured, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant, but you could strengthen your argument by including more specific data or case studies to illustrate your points further. This would enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and phrasing issues that can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and attempts to elaborate on it through logically structured arguments.
task achievement
You effectively address a relevant topic with significant societal implications, showcasing an understanding of the complexities surrounding criminal behavior and rehabilitation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
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