Some people believe that government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individual should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include example from your own experience.

#people #government #care #support #years #fund #retirement

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

As people grow old, they are seeking more financial attention, while it is possible that at their young

age

Use synonyms

, they must plan for their

Use synonyms

retirement

Accept comma addition

retirement, however

however

Linking Words

it is the fundamental responsibility of the government to take care of their senior citizens financially.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why eventually the responsibility lies with the government.

Retirement

Use synonyms

plans are considered to be significant for the individual. At the young

age

Use synonyms

a person does care about their saving for rainy days,

instead

Linking Words

they tend to spend on every single glitter available in the market, without realising the consequences after the

retirement

Use synonyms

because they felt that they must be pleased themselves now and stop planning about the future,

for example

Linking Words

, a recent study by the EIA brokerage firm, suggested that people with life bracket between 25 years to 30 years, it is necessary for them to consider pullout strategy. Overall, an individual compels himself to contemplate their arrangement at the early

age

Use synonyms

to avoid burdensome to others at their departure.

Conversely

Linking Words

, It is the foremost responsibility of the regime to arrange better fund strategy for retirees, as they would not be competent enough to work after 60 years of

age

Use synonyms

because of their health and mental capacity does not allow them to do so,

additionally

Linking Words

they contribute through hefty taxes to country development,

For instance

Linking Words

, In Australia, a person have to submit 9.5% of their wages to superannuation fund which eventually pay them back after their evacuation. Personal saving will never be able to achieve what has been taken by authorities over hundred of years to achieve. In conclusion, the state

retirement

Use synonyms

plan will eventually supersede entirely the individual saving methods,

however

Linking Words

the regime must designed appropriate system and follow them up for their implementation. Ultimately, in the current scenario the government is responsible for their

retirement

Use synonyms

Submitted by ali_haider86 on Sat Feb 29 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why you do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?
THE CRIME RATE IS INCREASING GLOBALLY, ESPECIALLY IN METROPOLIS RATHER THAN RURAL AREAS. THERE ARE NUMBER OF FACTORS THAT LEAD TO THIS PROBLEM, ALSO SOME REMEDIES ARE AVAILABLE TO TACKLE THEM.
6.5
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Thanks to globalization, the world has become a smaller place than ever before. While some feel that expats must follow the traditions of the nation they are visiting, I, however, agree with those who feel that the host country should allow different cultures. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion with relevant examples.On the one hand, it could be argued that if the expats follow local rituals, then the cultural values of the visiting country would reach a wider audience. In fact, the visitors might explore more about the visited nations' rituals once they reach back their homes. For instance, the Russian government has made it compulsory for the temporary residents to learn and follow their local customs when they are in Russia, resulting in more visitors who are aware of Russian history. On the other hand, I firmly believe that visitors from other countries would bring cultural diversity if they follow their customs and traditions in th...
7.5
band
Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree
the affordability of higher education appears as one of the most arguabl6e topics in society. The majority believe that education regulators should consider eliminating tuition fees for all individuals, irrespective of their socio-economic background. I personally hold an opposing opinion about this initiative and will provide further explanation in this essay.
6
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Most people working in the same company makes them more comfortable than changing their jobs frequently; however, to state that staying loyal to one company all their life is the only right way to do, I personally disagree with that since changing workplaces also has some benefits.
6.5
band
Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?
It has always been difficult to determine whether the accomplishment of a province is based on economic expansion or other elements. From my standpoint, I strongly believe that economic progress plays a significant role in reflecting the development of a province, even though other factors are also necessary.

Fully explain your ideas

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why you do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?