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Band 6

Professional sports involve large sums of money and receive enormous media coverage. Meanwhile serious culture, including music, art and theatre, is badly neglected. This is making our society shallower. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sports #sums #money #media #coverage #culture #music #art #theatre #society
Being globalization a main feature of twenty
first
century mostly
Accept comma addition
century, mostly
 all types of cultures are now open across the world to exchange thoughts and invest in sports, art and literature. In my opinion, spending money for professional sports will always result in building a support system in society. Though a balance needs to be maintained in spending money between games and culture as they both are equally significant for the association. There are few occasions where the art, music and literature has been
second
 on the list
by
Suggestion
of
 the authorities for funding. Lack of financial support from
government
Suggestion
the government
 will not only impact artists and experts, but
also
 discourages younger generations to opt these fields as their career options in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
For instance
, learning
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
 may not be a great selection for someone as a continuous source of income.
Hence
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should encourage more talented people and offer happy returns in terms of income stability and consider them as an asset section of society. Those who plays games professionally,
on the other hand
, has always
fall
Suggestion
fallen
 into
favorable
encouraging or approving or pleasing
favourable
 circumstances as far as funds are concerned.
Undoubtably
Suggestion
Undoubtedly
, sports are one thing that
grounds public
Accept comma addition
grounds, public
 in all categories irrespective of their nationality, age, and gender. And why not, because sports are not only demand health and fitness, but
also
 right state of mental balance which can only be achieved by sportsman through rigorous efforts, discipline and hardship.
Consequently
, they receive enormous media coverage with best sponsors and huge sum of money in return.
Hence
, it can be said, how big the sports event is organised, the better chances of socializing can be noticed
such
 as the Olympics, the commonwealth games and the world cup games for football and cricket. In view of the
discussions
Suggestion
discussion
 outline above, it can be recapitulated that, professional sports are always considered as the harmonious brick in building stronger human society, we need
to to
in the direction of
to
 pay more attention towards the cultural events which is often ignored.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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