The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table provides information about the
visitors
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
the Ashdom Museum before and after its refurbishment
while
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
charts illustrate the review of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitor's
Change noun form
visitors
show examples
in terms of satisfaction.
Overall
, it can be noted that there was a significant increase in the number of
visitors
after decoration.
Fix the agreement mistake
Results
show examples
Result
Correct article usage
The result
show examples
of
surveys
Correct article usage
the surveys
show examples
showed the level of satisfaction among
visitors
rose tremendously.
According to
the table, before
renovated
Replace the word
renovation
show examples
74,000 people went to the Museum but after redecorating it showed an upward trend which increased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
18,000
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and reached 92,000. Looking at the pie charts in more detail, there was a noticeable rise in the proportion of very satisfied from 15% to 35% more than double.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the other hand, the percentage of satisfied tourists climbed by 10%, reaching 40%. Before the renovation, 40% of respondents respond that they were dissatisfied with the museum, but
this
percentage went down to only 15% after refurbishment.
Similarly
, the number of very dissatisfied
visitors
also
halved from 10% to 5%.
Lastly
, the category of no response remained the same over two periods.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
What to do next:
Look at other essays: