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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Advancements in the medical sector have brought longevity among the public.
Although
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this
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 trend has merits
such
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 as building stronger relationships in the families and increased tax income
for
Suggestion
of
 a nation, its negative impacts in terms of greying society as well as huge medical expenses cannot be ignored. I believe that
this
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 transformation of increased
Use synonyms
life-span
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifespan
 has more benefits than demerits.
To begin
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 with, if people live longer, society will turn into a greying one. In Japan,
for example
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, owing to innovations in medical technologies, people are living much longer compared with other parts of the world.
Such
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 changes are increasing the generation gap, but as of now, there is no factual backup of it
Moreover
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, Medical expenses are surging because governments need to reserve a huge amount of money to take care the health of senior citizens;
however
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, no data of
such
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 expenses have been published so far in
this
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 context.
Thus
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 the increased
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy not only increases
the old
Suggestion
the older
 population but
also
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 increases the financial expenditures.
On the contrary
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, stronger relations can form if the
life
Use synonyms
 span of individuals increases. As longer
life
Use synonyms
 facilitates the people to spend
life
Use synonyms
 together with their family, the chances of having a harmonious
life
Use synonyms
 are greater.
For instance
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, in Northern America, medical advancements have increased the
life
Use synonyms
 span of the public, and
consequently
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, it uplifted the happiness index from six to nine for families throughout the country.
Furthermore
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, tax collection will be more because people will work in their old age, and
this
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 collected fund can be utilized in the development of the nations.
Therefore
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, living longer strengthens mutual relations in a family as well as increases tax money for a country. To summarize, while longer
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy apparently causes ageing community and increases financial expenses for the medical care of senior members of the nation, tax-money
collection
Suggestion
collected
 for a country and relations among families will strengthen.
Hence
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,
this
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 trend has more positives as compared with negatives.

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