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Band 6.5

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others think scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Discuss both views!

#people #politicians #influence #world #scientists #contribution
Humanity has grown in a way that improves the quality of education, healthcare, infrastructure, and any other fields in our lives. It is true that lawmakers and
scientists
 are all playing a role in making the
world
 as great as it is now. Each party has their own impact on the development of our society; the governments make the regulations,
whereas
 the
scientists
 make the innovations. Politicians, being the main human resources in governing a country, is indeed the group of people that have the greatest impact on the
world
. Not only are they managing and protecting their people, but they are
also
 the ones in charge of connecting with other legislators all around the
world
. In some occasions, these politicians wold collaborate in making several kinds of agreements that are surely going to affect how the system of their country works.
Moreover
, they are
also
 responsible for being the leaders of their nation
as well as
 making decisions that are potentially going to affect the majority of the public every single day.
While
 the former impacts the activities of the community by being the observer, decider, and risk-taker,
scientists
 make contributions to society and the environment by discovering things that can push a lot of future developments in various parts of our lives. Without the help of
scientists
, there will be no high-quality medicine, accessible transportation mode, or even as simple as electrical power and light bulbs.
Subsequently
, these
scientists
 are the ones who opens the door to a lot of possibilities and opportunities that might bring new ideas and innovations benefiting all humankind. In conclusion, each of every one of politicians and
scientists
 have their own contributions in making
this
world
 a better place. It is just a matter of what fields they are experts in and what form of help they are giving to the public.
Consequently
, these two group of experts must collaborate and support the works of each other to enhance the growth of the nation.
Submitted by mayfa.shadrina on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position is maintained throughout the essay. While both views were discussed, a more explicit statement of your own viewpoint would strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is quite coherent, try to improve the logical progression of ideas by ensuring a more seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up claims about the influence of politicians and scientists to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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