IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Aman, It's been a
while
Linking Words
, hasn't it? I'm exhilarated to inform you that I'm moving to Canada
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the very next month for my studies and wanted some assistance, from your side, to search for a part-time
job
Use synonyms
. Actually, I enrolled in an entrepreneur management course, it's having five days
classes
Change preposition
of classes
show examples
 on weekdays. So, I'll be free on weekends. As far as the necessity of a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 is concerned, as you know, I'm not financially stable and in order to pay my expenses, I need a
job
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I want to get the experience so that in the future I can easily get better opportunities. Moving
further
Linking Words
, I want to know you're recommendations about which
job
Use synonyms
 sector is better for me, on top of that, it would be great if you'll provide me
references
Change preposition
with references
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 online sites, where I can apply. I'll await your response and hope you will give your best effort to help me in
this
Linking Words
 matter. Best Regards,
jaspreet
Change the capitalization
Jaspreet
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Use a variety of connecting phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear separation of ideas by dedicating one paragraph to each main point. This will improve the single idea per paragraph score.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, provide more specific details about your study plans, such as the institution you'll be attending or the exact duration of your course.
task achievement
Consider addressing the letter more formally with the friend's last name unless the relationship is very casual. Also, ensure the closing sign-off matches the level of formality throughout the letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: