IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

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Dear Aman, It's been a
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, hasn't it? I'm exhilarated to inform you that I'm moving to Canada
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the very next month for my studies and wanted some assistance, from your side, to search for a part-time
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Actually, I enrolled in an entrepreneur management course, it's having five days
classes
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of classes

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 on weekdays. So, I'll be free on weekends. As far as the necessity of a part-time
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is concerned, as you know, I'm not financially stable and in order to pay my expenses, I need a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I want to get the experience so that in the future I can easily get better opportunities. Moving
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I want to know you're recommendations about which
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 sector is better for me, on top of that, it would be great if you'll provide me
references
Change preposition
with references

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 online sites, where I can apply. I'll await your response and hope you will give your best effort to help me in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter. Best Regards,
jaspreet
Change the capitalization
Jaspreet

If you don’t want jaspreet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Use a variety of connecting phrases to show the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear separation of ideas by dedicating one paragraph to each main point. This will improve the single idea per paragraph score.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, provide more specific details about your study plans, such as the institution you'll be attending or the exact duration of your course.
task achievement
Consider addressing the letter more formally with the friend's last name unless the relationship is very casual. Also, ensure the closing sign-off matches the level of formality throughout the letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
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