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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #support
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With the advent of urbanisation and the rise in popularity of fast foodstuff, there have been accompanying issues with rising obesity rates – especially in developed countries like England and the USA. After providing a careful analysis of why obesity has risen so sharply in these countries, I shall suggest a number of ways in which the obesity epidemic can be ameliorated.
To begin
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 with, it should be unsurprising that fast foodstuff is incredibly popular in wealthy countries (like England and the USA). Due to higher levels of development in these countries, consumers possess more money and can
therefore
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 consume vast amounts of fast meal without seriously diminishing their income.
For example
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, the American Dietary Association found that (compared to the average Indian household), the average American household has a six times larger budget for food per month.
Consequently
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, it is to be expected that illness rates are much higher in countries with larger amounts of wealth.
However
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, despite the severity of the illness problem, there are a number of ways in which developed countries could battle it more effectively.
Firstly
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, developed governments could put far more pressure on fast food outlets to provide healthy alternatives to hamburgers, french fries and soft drinks.
Secondly
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, public exercise initiatives could be advertised and promoted far more vigorously.
Lastly
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, modules that inform teenagers about healthy dietary requirements could be taught at schools. In conclusion,
although
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 the illness is a serious issue in the developed world, if the above steps are taken, the situation will surely improve in the coming years

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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