IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

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Growing up with the invention of advance technologies, including
space
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 research consume huge amount of
money
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 by the help nation's economy.
Instead
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 of focusing on those studies, government should be conscious and invest regarding the
health
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 need of the citizens. It seems that,
health
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 is out and out important thing than any other in order to contribute their country. What if the
disease
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 spreads world-wide by the lack of proper research on
disease
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? The basic need is mandatory for every individual. In many countries, particularly developing and underdeveloped countries, people face numerous obstacles by the lack of primary needs; education,
health
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 and so on. If the government lunch
health
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 education programs, medical survey,
disease
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 control and prevention, including free
health
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 camp rather than wasting
money
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 on
space
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 experiments,
thenthen
subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)
then
then then
 it would be far better in order to meet
goal
Suggestion
the goal
goals
 and objectives of providing those needs. One's can only able to contribute their nation only if he or she achieve their basic
health
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 need.
Furthermore
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, through spending
money
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 on epidemiological investigation and epidemiological research laboratory plays significant role in terms of preventing
disease
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 epidemics and pandemic. Once the
disease
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 spread globally
then
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 it leads to destroy whole nations. If we already implement those mentioned things through concerning with relevant authorized governmental agencies
then
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 we can able to save thousand of live by determining specific equipments which needs immediately after
disease
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 occurrence.
In addition
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, for doing
space
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 program needs huge amount which poor countries cannot afford. It seems too luxuriant and needed highly skilled person. But there are only few countries which can able to produce a person with the required ability to do
space
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 experiments.
Moreover
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, some countries are too insufficient to lunch college, university related to
space
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 program due to poor economic situation.
However
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, investing
money
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 on
space
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 related programs would help our
next
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 generation through inventing new technologies. But for now, the most needed and precious things is our
health
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. To sum up,
although
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 spending
money
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 on
space
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 programs probably assists our coming generations in
future
Suggestion
the future
, but basic needs, controlling
disease
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 occurrence and maintaining economic crisis of a country are the most important factors to lead the whole country to become developed and independent.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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