Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as adults who commit crimes.To whats extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that young individuals who break the
law
should be punished as same as the old lawbreakers. While I accept that treating the young criminals and the old ones equally tends to provide benefits for them and the society, I believe that
this
move can change their lives for the worse. On the one hand, I would concur that applying similar
law
for both young and old people committing crimes may bring advantages to teenagers and the community.
Firstly
, by punishing young criminals, the crime rate
can be detract
Suggestion
can detract
significantly. To illustrate, being threatened by serious laws, young lawbreakers will be inclined to control their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
and follow the rule.
Secondly
, by doing
this
, the authorities could not only keep the young under
discipline but
Accept comma addition
discipline, but
also
help them to stand a better chance of revising their lives. If young individuals who commit crimes are punished by the rule, they will gain a better knowledge
of responsibility
Accept comma addition
of, responsibility
and distinguish between the right and the wrong.
Consequently
,
this
move might enable the government to establish innocent and clever generations.
On the other hand
, I
content
maintain or assert
contend
that treating young criminals in the same as the adults can have detrimental influences on their lives. As
young generation
Suggestion
a young generation
the young generation
breaking the
law
are not aware of
consequences
Suggestion
the consequences
of their crimes completely, the society,
therefore
, should encourage them to realize it and prevent them from other criminal activities.
For instance
, being motivated by other lawbreakers, teenagers tend to commit crimes easily
such
as drug
addition
being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)
addiction
, robbing or gambling.
Furthermore
, my opinion is that the authorities should help young individuals to cultivate a better understanding of their crimes and fix it
instead
of pushing them into prison. If they have to go to jail, their social lives and mentalities can be ruined.
As a result
, young individuals may not be treated in the same as the adults when they commit crimes. In conclusion, I believe that teenagers should be educated and encouraged to fix their faults than punished by the
law
,
instead
.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users