IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phone #development
Nowadays, the world is heavily lodged into its new invention,
that is
 Internet and Mobiles. While, some argue that,
this
 dependency could affect the human kind adversely, there are many others who believe it to be a blessing to us.
However
, I believe it to be a positive development. In
this
 age of technology, due to the availability of high internet and smart gadgets, people can get the knowledge regarding the events happening throughout the world.
For instance
, a
person
 can find out about a musical concert
that is
 going to take place overseas by just a few clicks.
This
 advancement has given a
person
 the power of knowledge of its surrounding and the happening of events world-wide.
Moreover
, devices
such
 as cellular phones has made it easier than ever to connect with friends and family while away from them.
This
 has
also
 made it more convenient to connect with people you do not know and wish to be friends with.
For example
, if you have seen a
person
 in your locality and you want to build contacts with him, a byproduct of the internet; social media site can help you connect with them.
Thus
, making us more social.
Furthermore
, the smart phones have made it extremely convenient for humans to save time. To illustrate, a
person
 now can browse to shop or purchase products online, whilst sitting at home, or book, a movie ticket using their smart phone applications without having to go physically in a store or box office.
Consequently
, helping them to invest their time on more important matters. To summarise, the technology has made it very easy and time saving for the
person
 using it.
Therefore
, the burgeoning use of the internet and mobiles has significantly impacted the life of the users in a progressive direction.
Submitted by sweta.singh0987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: