People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said there is an improvement in the way
people
live in the 21st century from the past. I partially agree with this
, for the growing supply of food
resulted from the advancement of technology regardless of the fact that people
are not always happy from the increasing loss of physical contact with other people
in daily life.
On one hand, people
have an advanced quality of life as they are able to access abundant sources of food
in modern society. In other words
, the expanding agricultural harvests and meat production, which have been achieved by current technologies with sophisticated machines and monitoring systems, have promoted individual health dramatically. For instance
, the amount of harvests cultivated in Japan in 2023 has almost doubled from a decade ago. Consequently
, this
not only has led to the incredible reduction of poverty but also
the extension of longevity as people
are able to consume more food
of diverse kinds which contain essential minerals and vitamins.
On the other hand
, the levels of satisfaction and happiness of people
living today tend to decline gradually due to
the disintegrated lifestyle. Indeed, the lack of face-to-face communications brought about by their increasing reliance on electric gadgets makes them more isolated from others. For example
, many young people
in Japan spend between 3 and 5 hours using their smartphones in their homes without going anywhere in a day. Furthermore
, the declining human contacts often encourage immoral behaviours and unhealthy such
as acting violently and depression, making people
suffer more than in the past when people
felt more blessed by intimate social interactions.
In conclusion, I somewhat believe that people
living today have a higher quality of life, especially from the rising food
supply, which makes them more healthy. However
, modern development can have a potentially negative effect on them from a psychological perspective.Submitted by mizuho on
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Task Achievement
Provide a more detailed thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline both sides of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to ensure each idea transitions smoothly to the next.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments by elaborating more on both the positive and negative aspects of modern technological advancements.
Task Achievement
Strong and relevant examples are provided to support your points, such as the agricultural advancements in Japan.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective use of an introductory and concluding paragraph helps frame your essay well.