Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, Others, however, say that this would have littel effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue of how to strengthen the
health
of
people
has sparked considerable debate in recent times.
While
some
people
argue that expanding
sports
infrastructure
such
as stadiums or indoor gymnasiums is the greatest way to develop community
health
, others maintain that the efficiency might not be high and that
further
actions are needed. In my opinion, I totally agree with the subsequent perspective.
This
essay will explore both sides of
this
argument before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, there are some arguments in favour of the idea that increasing the number of
sports
facilities
would have little effect on public
health
and that other measures are required.
Initially
, access to
facilities
does not guarantee usage,
people
still need motivation to
exercise
. A lot of
people
walk by a gym or a
sports
field every day but they do not enter because of some factors
such
as the lack of time or not enjoyable and so on.
Similarly
, a common scenario is the underutilized gym membership. Many
people
sign up for gym memberships with the best intentions of improving their fitness, but ultimately, they do not use the facility regularly.
Furthermore
, factors like diet, education, and environment
also
play crucial roles in public
health
. Only doing
exercise
might not be enough to improve community
health
. To develop not only physical but
also
mental
health
,
people
must have a suitable diet and an understanding of
health
information to make informed decisions that can prevent diseases and promote wellness.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons to support the statement that public
health
can be significantly enhanced by building more
sports
venues.
To begin
with, more
facilities
can motivate
people
to
exercise
regularly, combating sedentary lifestyles.
People
are more likely to
exercise
if they do not have to travel long distances.
As a result
,
facilities
located closer to residential areas encourage spontaneous workouts. Another argument would be that
sports
facilities
can serve as social hubs, fostering a sense of community and well-being.
For example
,
facilities
that cater to
people
of all ages,
such
as family-friendly parks or senior
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, provide opportunities for different generations to interact and learn from each other. All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma when
people
evaluate the effects of
this
issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. As far as I am concerned, I put more emphasis on the idea that additional steps are required
besides
building more
sports
venues to enhance public
health
.
People
should have
further
consideration on
this
issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes or statistical data could enhance the credibility of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that connectors and transition phrases are varied to maintain the flow of the essay. While the essay is generally cohesive, using a wider range of vocabulary can make it more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by clearly stating both views and mentioning the author's opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point related to the topic.
task response
You have provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which addresses the task requirements well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: