Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, Others, however, say that this would have littel effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

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The issue of how to strengthen the
health
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of
people
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has sparked considerable debate in recent times.
While
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some
people
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argue that expanding
sports
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infrastructure
such
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as stadiums or indoor gymnasiums is the greatest way to develop community
health
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, others maintain that the efficiency might not be high and that
further
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actions are needed. In my opinion, I totally agree with the subsequent perspective.
This
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essay will explore both sides of
this
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argument before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, there are some arguments in favour of the idea that increasing the number of
sports
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facilities
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would have little effect on public
health
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and that other measures are required.
Initially
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, access to
facilities
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does not guarantee usage,
people
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still need motivation to
exercise
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. A lot of
people
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walk by a gym or a
sports
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field every day but they do not enter because of some factors
such
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as the lack of time or not enjoyable and so on.
Similarly
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, a common scenario is the underutilized gym membership. Many
people
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sign up for gym memberships with the best intentions of improving their fitness, but ultimately, they do not use the facility regularly.
Furthermore
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, factors like diet, education, and environment
also
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play crucial roles in public
health
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. Only doing
exercise
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might not be enough to improve community
health
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. To develop not only physical but
also
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mental
health
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,
people
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must have a suitable diet and an understanding of
health
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information to make informed decisions that can prevent diseases and promote wellness.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons to support the statement that public
health
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can be significantly enhanced by building more
sports
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venues.
To begin
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with, more
facilities
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can motivate
people
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to
exercise
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regularly, combating sedentary lifestyles.
People
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are more likely to
exercise
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if they do not have to travel long distances.
As a result
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,
facilities
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located closer to residential areas encourage spontaneous workouts. Another argument would be that
sports
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facilities
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can serve as social hubs, fostering a sense of community and well-being.
For example
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,
facilities
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that cater to
people
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of all ages,
such
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as family-friendly parks or senior
centers
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centres
show examples
, provide opportunities for different generations to interact and learn from each other. All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma when
people
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evaluate the effects of
this
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issue, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. As far as I am concerned, I put more emphasis on the idea that additional steps are required
besides
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building more
sports
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venues to enhance public
health
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.
People
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should have
further
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consideration on
this
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issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

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task response
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes or statistical data could enhance the credibility of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that connectors and transition phrases are varied to maintain the flow of the essay. While the essay is generally cohesive, using a wider range of vocabulary can make it more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by clearly stating both views and mentioning the author's opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point related to the topic.
task response
You have provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which addresses the task requirements well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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