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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the main way to happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy?what others things in life can make people happy?

A certain number of people believe that the richest
person
Use synonyms
 is the happiest
person
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
whereas others hold a view, that there are
also
Linking Words
 others factors which can make people happy. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
having
good family
Suggestion
a good family
 and friends
,
Accept space
,
good environment at
work
Use synonyms
 place are more important aspects than
money
Use synonyms
.
it
Suggestion
It
 is irrefutable that
money
Use synonyms
 can easily
fullfil
put in effect
fulfil
fulfils
 all the basics as well as
extragavance
the quality of exceeding the appropriate limits of decorum or probability or truth
extravagance
 needs of a
person
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as clothes
,
Accept space
,
big
bunglow
a small house with a single story
bungalow
 and long car.
Also
Linking Words
, affluent people can send their children to the well
reputated
look on as or consider
reputed
 schools
,
Accept space
,
which would help them to accelerate the career and have more opportunities in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
they can do the
treatment
Use synonyms
 of the diseases from the renowned hospitals.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
Indian cricket team player
Suggestion
an Indian cricket team player
the Indian cricket team player
 "Yuvraj Singh" did the
treatment
Use synonyms
 of his cancer
,
Accept space
,
even it was in its
last
Linking Words
 stage because he had
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
if people are having a good family
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 no other thing
of
Suggestion
in
 the world can give them happiness of
this
Linking Words
 kind.In fact
,
Accept space
,
they do not easily become the victim of the ailments.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
a survey was conducted by an agency in
,
Accept space
,
which they found that 70% of people who were suffering from the depression were
belong
Suggestion
belonging
belonged
 to the rich class. If people have less
amount
Use synonyms
 of cash but, they have
the good
Suggestion
the best
 surroundings as well as
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
the work
 of their choice at the offices
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 it makes them more ecstatic.Many people today are earning
enormous
Suggestion
an enormous amount
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
but they are not cheerful with the
work
Use synonyms
 they are doing
at
Suggestion
in
 their offices.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
although
Linking Words
 the government employees get
the high salary
Suggestion
a higher salary
higher salary
the highest salary
the higher salary
,
Accept space
,
but they are not satisfied with the
work
Use synonyms
 in which they are engaged in
there
of them or themselves
their
 offices.
Thatis
Suggestion
That is
 why they want to go to
private sector
Suggestion
the private sector
. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
while it is undeniable that
money
Use synonyms
 can easily satisfy all the luxury requirements
,
Accept space
,
 in order to happy others factors
also
Linking Words
 matters
such
Linking Words
 as family and friends
,
Accept space
,
if a
person
Use synonyms
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
 these
then
Linking Words
 the
money
Use synonyms
 is of no use for him. A certain number of people believe that the richest
person
Use synonyms
 is the happiest
person
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
whereas others hold a view, that there are
also
Linking Words
 others factors which can make people happy. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
having
good family
Suggestion
a good family
 and friends
,
Accept space
,
good environment at
work
Use synonyms
 place are more important aspects than
money
Use synonyms
.
it
Suggestion
It
 is irrefutable that
money
Use synonyms
 can easily
fullfil
put in effect
fulfil
fulfils
 all the basics as well as
extragavance
the quality of exceeding the appropriate limits of decorum or probability or truth
extravagance
 needs of a
person
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as clothes
,
Accept space
,
big
bunglow
a small house with a single story
bungalow
 and long car.
Also
Linking Words
, affluent people can send their children to the well
reputated
look on as or consider
reputed
 schools
,
Accept space
,
which would help them to accelerate the career and have more opportunities in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
they can do the
treatment
Use synonyms
 of the diseases from the renowned hospitals.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
Indian cricket team player
Suggestion
an Indian cricket team player
the Indian cricket team player
 "Yuvraj Singh" did the
treatment
Use synonyms
 of his cancer
,
Accept space
,
even it was in its
last
Linking Words
 stage because he had
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
if people are having a good family
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 no other thing
of
Suggestion
in
 the world can give them happiness of
this
Linking Words
 kind.In fact
,
Accept space
,
they do not easily become the victim of the ailments.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
a survey was conducted by an agency in
,
Accept space
,
which they found that 70% of people who were suffering from the depression were
belong
Suggestion
belonging
belonged
 to the rich class. If people have less
amount
Use synonyms
 of cash but, they have
the good
Suggestion
the best
 surroundings as well as
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
the work
 of their choice at the offices
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 it makes them more ecstatic.Many people today are earning
enormous
Suggestion
an enormous amount
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
but they are not cheerful with the
work
Use synonyms
 they are doing
at
Suggestion
in
 their offices.
For
Linking Words
instance
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
although
Linking Words
 the government employees get
the high salary
Suggestion
a higher salary
higher salary
the highest salary
the higher salary
,
Accept space
,
but they are not satisfied with the
work
Use synonyms
 in which they are engaged in
there
of them or themselves
their
 offices.
Thatis
Suggestion
That is
 why they want to go to
private sector
Suggestion
the private sector
. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
while it is undeniable that
money
Use synonyms
 can easily satisfy all the luxury requirements
,
Accept space
,
 in order to happy others factors
also
Linking Words
 matters
such
Linking Words
 as family and friends
,
Accept space
,
if a
person
Use synonyms
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
 these
then
Linking Words
 the
money
Use synonyms
 is of no use for him.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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