IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #towns #cities #places #squares #parks
Due to
 urbanization, the population of cities is constantly growing. That causes many problems with traffic and housing.
People
 need to live somewhere, so the demand for real estate is dramatically high. Building companies build more and more blocks to meet the needs of citizens occupying vital green areas and other public outdoor facilities. I strongly agree that all modern cities should have convenient outside infrastructure.
People
 tend to focus on a work-life balance and do not want to commute from jobs to homes daily, having no chance to recreate. Spending quality
time
 outside with family or friends is considered one of the most affordable ways to relax after a busy day. A well-developed infrastructure offers residents the opportunity and makes leisure
time
 more pleasant.
Moreover
, outdoor spaces encourage socializing inside local communities.
Additionally
, parks and forests help to cope with fossil fuels produced by transportation. If there are many trees in a city, the air is cleaner and fresher, which is
also
 vital for locals.
Nevertheless
, some
people
 are convinced that building squares is necessary for big cities.
Thus
, the government should focus on making affordable housing, hospitals, schools, and malls. Indeed, I assume that reaching the balance is the perfect compromise for both sides. Taking everything into account, I can summarise my ideas and state the importance of outdoor facilities one more
time
. If we replace city infrastructure with apartments and malls, we will face major negative outcomes,
such
 as air pollution, extinction of flora, and lack of places for recreation. City councils should prioritize
such
 spaces for
people
 to engage and spend leisure
time
.
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. For instance, you could mention specific cities that have successfully balanced urban development with green spaces.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of your essay. For example, use more transitional phrases like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'however.' This will help in enhancing coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted the importance of outdoor spaces for relaxation and socializing, which strongly supports your argument.
coherence cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of having outdoor spaces in cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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