IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#show #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
The bar chart illustrates the
amount
 of
money
 of two countries,
France
 and the UK spent on five products, namely:
cars
, computers, books,
perfume
 and
cameras
 in 2010, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
measured
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
pounds
 sterling.
Overall
, it
clears
Add a missing verb
is clears
show examples
 that both nation
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 tend to buy
cars
 with the highest using
money
. In the UK,
perfume
 is the
kind
 of
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 with the
amount
 of spending
money
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest;
however
,
cameras
 were the
kind
 of
goods
 with the
amount
 of using
money
 at least in
France
. The
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
 of
money
 spent
cars
Change preposition
on cars
show examples
 in
France
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than
computers
Change preposition
on computers
show examples
 by 25,000
pounds
 sterling. Total spending on books,
perfume
Correct word choice
and perfume
show examples
 in
France
 was 300,000
pounds
,
200,000
Correct word choice
and 200,000
show examples
pounds
 respectively.
Cameras
 were the
kind
 of
goods
 with the lowest expenditure was 150,000
pounds
 sterling. The
amount
 of
money
 spent
perfume
Change preposition
on perfume
show examples
 was the lowest during the given period diagram under 150,000
pounds
 sterling. Computers and
cameras
 were about the same in the amounts of using
money
, with the amounts of spending
cameras
 higher
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 10,000
pounds
 sterling.
Cars
 were
kind
Correct article usage
the kind
show examples
 of
goods
 with the highest expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
455,000
pounds
 sterling, compared to approximately 405,000
pounds
 sterling
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 books.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, france, cars, perfume, cameras, pounds, kind, goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
▼
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