IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#show #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
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The bar chart illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
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 of two countries,
France
Use synonyms
 and the UK spent on five products, namely:
cars
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, computers, books,
perfume
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 and
cameras
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 in 2010, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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measured
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clears
Add a missing verb
is clears
show examples
 that both nation
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 tend to buy
cars
Use synonyms
 with the highest using
money
Use synonyms
. In the UK,
perfume
Use synonyms
 is the
kind
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 with the
amount
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 of spending
money
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest;
however
Linking Words
,
cameras
Use synonyms
 were the
kind
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 with the
amount
Use synonyms
 of using
money
Use synonyms
 at least in
France
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. The
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
 of
money
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 spent
Use synonyms
cars
Change preposition
on cars
show examples
 in
France
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 higher than
computers
Change preposition
on computers
show examples
 by 25,000
pounds
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 sterling. Total spending on books,
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perfume
Correct word choice
and perfume
show examples
 in
France
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 was 300,000
pounds
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,
200,000
Correct word choice
and 200,000
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Cameras
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 were the
kind
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 with the lowest expenditure was 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling. The
amount
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 of
money
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 spent
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perfume
Change preposition
on perfume
show examples
 was the lowest during the given period diagram under 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling. Computers and
cameras
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 were about the same in the amounts of using
money
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, with the amounts of spending
cameras
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 higher
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 10,000
pounds
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 sterling.
Cars
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 were
Use synonyms
kind
Correct article usage
the kind
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 of
goods
Use synonyms
 with the highest expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
455,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling, compared to approximately 405,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 books.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, france, cars, perfume, cameras, pounds, kind, goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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