IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on society

#people #time #home #effects #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the people today spend their valuable
time
Use synonyms
 in places
such
Linking Words
 as offices
,
Accept space
,
fitness
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
, entertainment
,
Accept space
,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 rather than at home.
This
Linking Words
 has been a great issue.In my opinion,
time
Use synonyms
 spend in our house should be equal to the
time
Use synonyms
 spend outdoors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main problem for
this
Linking Words
 issue is because of
lack
Suggestion
the lack
a lack
 of
healthy relationship
Suggestion
a healthy relationship
healthy relationships
 between family members.
Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
, the persons in a family have less interaction with each other than they were in the past.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly due to the introduction of
digital world
Suggestion
the digital world
.
Accept space
.
 It has been a great
imposture
a person who makes deceitful pretenses
imposter
impostor
 to the society of
world
Suggestion
the world
.We spend more of our valuable
time
Use synonyms
 in these digital gadgets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people are more concerned about their self improvement in their career rather than their own family problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The effects are classified into two main perspectives. One is
problem
Suggestion
the problem
a problem
 faced by a single person while the other is
problem
Suggestion
a problem
the problem
 faced by a community.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
most of the people in
this
Linking Words
 present world have the habit of being alone rather than to be in a family.
This
Linking Words
 has been a major cause for the people to stay away from their home.
However
Linking Words
, the effects in a society
are varied
Suggestion
vary
 from person to person. As said before, if people started their
life
Suggestion
lives
 to be stranded
alone
Accept comma addition
alone, then
then
Linking Words
 there will be vast changes in the society. It will change the people's mindset of family and their home. In conclusion, I personally suggest people to be in
family
Suggestion
the family
a family
families
 rather than to be stranded.
This
Linking Words
 will create a great changes in the future generations.
Thus
Linking Words

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: