IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
#bar #information #vehicle #ownership #china #report #university #lecturer
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The given diagram illustrates the number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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Chinese
Use synonyms
nationals
Use synonyms
 in the given period of 1987 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicles
Use synonyms
 increased over the given period of time and by 1999 it was recorded approximately over 4000
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationals
Use synonyms
.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning from 1987 to
1991
Add a comma
,1991
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 there was a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle ownership. It
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started below 500
vehicles
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 in 1987 and by 1991 it almost reached nearly 1000
vehicles
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. 1991 to
approximately
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the approximately
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 year 1994 the number of
vehicles
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 remained the same. From 1995 there was a rapid increase
of
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle ownership in China. In 1995 it almost reached 2000
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per
thousand
Use synonyms
Chinese
Use synonyms
nationals
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 between 1995 and 1999 in
three year
Add a hyphen
three-year
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 time
duration
Add a comma
,duration
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 the data claims that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
vehicles
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 approximately
up to
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apply
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3000 per
thousand
Use synonyms
Chinese
Use synonyms
nationals
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given period which is
1999
Add a comma
,1999
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 the diagram indicates approximately
above
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apply
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4000
vehicles
Use synonyms
 owned per
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Chinese
Use synonyms
 people.
Submitted by yparty.animal on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles, thousand, chinese, nationals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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