IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The bar chart below gives information about vehicle ownership in China. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
#bar #information #vehicle #ownership #china #report #university #lecturer
The given diagram illustrates the number of
vehicles
 per
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Chinese
nationals
 in the given period of 1987 and 1999.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles
 increased over the given period of time and by 1999 it was recorded approximately over 4000
vehicles
 per
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationals
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning from 1987 to
1991
Add a comma
,1991
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 there was a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle ownership. It
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started below 500
vehicles
 in 1987 and by 1991 it almost reached nearly 1000
vehicles
. 1991 to
approximately
Change the article
the approximately
show examples
 year 1994 the number of
vehicles
 remained the same. From 1995 there was a rapid increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle ownership in China. In 1995 it almost reached 2000
vehicles
 per
thousand
Chinese
nationals
.
Additionally
 between 1995 and 1999 in
three year
Add a hyphen
three-year
show examples
 time
duration
Add a comma
,duration
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 the data claims that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
vehicles
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 approximately
up to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3000 per
thousand
Chinese
nationals
.
Finally
,
at the end
 of the given period which is
1999
Add a comma
,1999
show examples
 the diagram indicates approximately
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4000
vehicles
 owned per
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Chinese
 people.
Submitted by yparty.animal on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles, thousand, chinese, nationals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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