There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling. In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

#person #work #money #power

It is widely known that

Money

basically the backbone of modern human civilization. There is a plethora of things that motivate people to work.

However

, Undoubtedly, The main motive is

money

, Because pupils want to fulfil their daily needs.

This

essay will illustrate

money

's potential power.

Money

control people's mind. It's increasingly common to know that whom possess

money

possess people. One of the most obvious examples is; corruption. Especially,

Third

world

countries government is the source of corrupted individuals, (e

Accept space

g Indonesia, India, etc..). It's commonly caused by the lack of surveillance from the supervisor or the governmental tools who thinks that their salary are no longer sufficient to sustain their lifestyle.

Moreover

, many believed that

money

can buy joy.

Consequently

, Those who trust in

this

nation will spend their entire life chasing

money

, and at their pension age, they

finally

realize that their hard work is in vain, because they cannot enjoy their own sweat. Unfortunately, Most of the regrets will come at the late moment. A study conducted by

world

suicide prevention cited that 60% of suicidal cars are involved

money

. By

this

statement alone we can conclude that

Money

wield power to determine a life of a human.

Therefore

, We must not depend for

money

exaggeratedly.

In addition

Money

as the perpetual machine of economy. The global economy of the

world

is based on it. Because it's versatility,

World

finance used it for every modern transaction that occur. Its categorization

also

has diverse in its own way, From dollar to rupiahs. From giving wage to an employee to global trade connection, it's all based on a single system,

Money

Therefore it

Accept comma addition

Therefore, it

is unquestionably the most vital equilibrium that we still count on from ancient Egypt time till today. Without it, Humankind will suffer because the

world

economy will block by confusion about what currency that they should use. In conclusion,

Although

money influence

Accept comma addition

money, influence

the entire population of humanity, It

also

has several detrimental effects on human mental health. Despite the aforementioned statement, I should agree that

money

brings enormous role of human overall survival and happiness.

Submitted by josechristian321 on Sat Mar 14 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling. In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

Fully explain your ideas

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip. Write to the travel agency. In your letter •Say where / when you went on holiday •Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday •Tell them what you would like them to do

Some people think watching tv is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.