do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

#celebrities #money

Every year a list of celebrities whose highest paid is published. Some stars are paid hundreds of millions of dollars every year. Some

people

Suggestion

People

think they deserve

this

money for their talent and hard work. I strongly disagree. I do not believe anyone should have

such

excessive

Suggestion

Excessive

amounts of money. In

this

essay I will explain the reasons

for

Suggestion

For

my view. Famous personalities

such

as actor

Accept space

singer or athletes earn insane amounts of money. In fact, celebrities are among the highest paid professionals all over

world

Suggestion

the world

. Doctor, engineer or teacher. They are all doing the most important jobs in life,

however they

Accept comma addition

however, they

can get a monthly salary of half of the celebrities making in a day. Maybe their popularity may be worse than the other, but they deserve to better treatment than what they do. Many hospitals or schools have shabby facility is a prime example, where people need

more currency

Suggestion

more current

to grow,

instead

of sending them too much cash, get it to charity.

On the other hand

, to achieve the stage of an icon of a country, the entertainers have passed a very difficult and long path which is not achievable for many entertainers. Only few can get that stage and they have high demand

Suggestion

for

his/her followers. To keep

this

stage, they have to maintain their quality of work and at the same time social status. For

this

reason, they need a high salary.

For example

, some days ago a concert was

been

the state or fact of existing

being

organized in a stadium and all tickets were

been

the state or fact of existing

being

sold out.

That is

mean there were more than ten thousand

peoples

Suggestion

people

in that concert, so the entertainer of that concert could claim a high salary. In conclusion, we should pay worthy wages for those who are needed for society because the amount will reflect your real capacity.

Submitted by joliedang2762 on Sun Mar 15 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people think that going to the gym is the best way to keep fit. Others think that there are many better methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

It is better for college students to live on campus than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree with this idea?