At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, the proportion of young adults is significantly higher than that of older people.
While
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this
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demographic trend may present certain challenges, I believe it
also
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offers substantial advantages. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of having a youthful
population
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. One major benefit is the increase in the working-age
population
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. Young adults are often more proficient in modern technology and bring fresh perspectives that can improve both businesses and public services, thereby supporting long-term economic development.
In addition
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, many young people are more adaptable, eager to learn, and open to innovation. These qualities drive progress in fields
such
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as science, education, and the creative industries.
As a result
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, countries with a large number of young people may be better equipped to compete in the global economy and respond quickly to new challenges.
However
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, there are
also
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some disadvantages. A surge in the youth
population
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can lead to increased pressure on the job market. When too many young adults enter the workforce at once, it may result in high levels of unemployment, which can lead to frustration and social unrest.
Additionally
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, there is the risk of losing cultural values and traditions. As younger generations tend to adopt modern lifestyles and global trends, important customs may not be passed down. Over time,
this
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could result in a country gradually losing part of its cultural identity. In conclusion,
while
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a youthful
population
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can promote innovation and economic progress, it may
also
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bring challenges related to employment and cultural continuity. In my opinion, a balanced
population
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is the best way to build a strong and culturally rich nation.

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task achievement
You're clearly addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the youthful population, which is essential for task achievement. To strengthen your argument, you might consider providing more specific examples or case studies to support your points.
coherence
While your essay is well-structured, some transitions could be smoother. For example, using transition phrases explicitly when introducing the disadvantages could help improve coherence. Ensure that ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next.
coherence
Your introduction presents a clear overview of the topic and outlines your position effectively, which draws the reader in right from the start.
task achievement
You clearly articulate the benefits of a youthful population, particularly in the context of economic development and innovation, which reflects strong comprehension of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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