In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines

All around the world, animal products are used for food, clothes and

also

for medicine. Because of the development of human society and values, I believe that we should try to limit the use of animals for our own

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

Firstly

, many studies

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

that plant-based diets not only provide enough nutrients for our bodies to function normally

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

help us prevent health problems

such

as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart attacks. Meat has a lot of nutrients, but we can still replace it with plants. There are sufficient vegetable-based products

such

as pulse and soya milk that are rich in protein.

Secondly

, I think that sacrificing an animal’s life for a jacket or a dress is extremely cruel. Nowadays, clothes made of artificial materials are warmer,

softer

Correct word choice

and softer

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than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural materials and

less

Add a missing verb

have less

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initial cost and maintenance

cost

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costs

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. So, no longer

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to exploit animals for manufacturing clothes.

Finally

, with the development of artificial

chemicals

Add a comma

chemicals,

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we can replace animal

experimentations

Fix the agreement mistake

experimentation

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with sophisticated computer programs that could provide more accurate results.

For instance

, computer-based testing has been used

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the test the safety of new drugs or cancer treatments and has proved effective.

Therefore

, no longer necessary to use animals for new medicine testing or treatments. In conclusion, I believe that we should always try to limit the suffering of all creatures and aim for a world where we do not use animal products. It would be better for the environment and for ourselves.

Submitted by pdhaiyen2804 on Mon Mar 16 2020

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Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to maintain logical flow.

task achievement

Provide additional specific examples and details to further support the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protect places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden?

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?