Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend a school. Which do you think is better?

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These days,
people
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's opinions about
children
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's learning are so varied from the prior time owing to the
fact
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that a group of them think that the
fact
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that is
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really important is that youth learn at the house at a young age;
whereas
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, other ones believe that
school
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is the most crucial factor for teaching young generations. I subscribe to the second idea inasmuch as when
children
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go to the institute, they learn social behaviours and lessons better. On the one hand, if young
people
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attend
school
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, they learn how they should behave several times.
In other words
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,
school
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is the same as the small community;
as a result
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, they learn the best manners and negative ones;
moreover
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, after a short run, they know that in different situations which behaviour is the best one.
On the other hand
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, it is essential that the main item that aids
people
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in improving their skills and knowledge is competitiveness on account of the
fact
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that when
people
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are in
this
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position, they try to show the best aspects of themselves; in
fact
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, the institute is the best venue that helps
children
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to enhance themselves;
additionally
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, at the
school
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, students learning from each other because we can see the students who are really good at some lessons help their classmates who have a problem in some subjects.
In addition
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, teachers update their teaching and use new methods that aid young
people
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to learn better;
consequently
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, they use teaching ways that need less time and have a number of efficient.
To sum up
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, In my view, schools are the best places that have a lot of influence on the
children
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to become the best society members in the manner and learning their lessons better.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples or anecdotes to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with your vocabulary and word choice to avoid confusion. Using synonyms or similar expressions can enhance readability, but ensure they maintain the intended meaning.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents conflicting views on the topic and establishes your stance effectively, setting up the essay well.
logical structure
You have structured your essay logically, with each paragraph focusing on a particular aspect of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized education
  • flexible learning pace
  • peer pressure
  • social development
  • diverse range of ideas
  • comprehensive education
  • specialized educators
  • extracurricular activities
  • traditional schools
  • structured environment
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