Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is stated that many academic institutes do not provide enough education to teach about health issues for teenagers. In my opinion, I definitely disagree with that kind of argument because we may not understand about the school's curriculum.
In addition
, there is some evidence proving teachers
also
care for their pupils. To start with the
first
clue is there are many social activities held in local areas to spread out the knowledge about protecting health especially for children.
Furthermore
, annual physical tournaments for children are celebrated in March in my district, which contains the main objective sharing people information about healthcare and how to doing exercise. The
second
reason which convinced me is children nowadays can understand the importance of doing exercise. Every time I go running in a park, I always see there are some children doing aerobic exercise or go running with their relatives. Personally, I think
this
is quite clear signal of a certain determination about fitness concern.
Lastly
, sex-education now becomes a
first
and foremost section which supposes to be put in the teaching method because
this
can help children protect themselves against the sexual abuse which usually happens nowadays. From my understanding, now every eighth-grade student,
for example
, have to finish at least two courses of gender quality and sexual relationship. I think these requirements are acceptable so as to provide student's consciousness of gender. In conclusion, I am convinced that schools have been done many works in order to teach students how to be strong and healthy
such
as organize social events, encourage student do exercises and involve sex-education into the school's curriculum.
However
, schools
also
need to think more ways to support healthy awareness for students because these existing methods seem to be not enough for some people.
Submitted by dangvinh1212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health education
  • Curriculum
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Hygiene
  • Practical skills
  • Responsibility
  • Collaboration
  • Long-term benefits
  • Reduced healthcare costs
  • Academic performance
  • Well-being
  • Comprehensive health programs
  • Positive outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: