You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open late at night. Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter, Complain about the situation Say why this is a problem And propose ways to reduce the noise Begin your letter ‘Dear --------’ Do not write any addresses Write at least 150 words

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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Shay, and I am currently living in the university residence of Room 303 at Spring Hall at the University of Melbourne. I am writing concerning a disturbed condition I have been experiencing recently that usually happens late at night. As a freshman who just started a hectic academic life, being able to fall asleep before 11 pm is a basic need for most students.

However

Linking Words

, the endless noises from the nearby construction sites for building new restaurants made it hard to halt in time, as the sheer amount of sensory overload was exploding in our ears. Not only does

this

Linking Words

issue serve as a nightmare for us, but the builders and supervisors of that building site have never admitted they are wrong at all. Especially when we pointed out a representative to reach them, they had a reluctant attitude towards us without saying anything.

Instead

Linking Words

, they told us

this

Linking Words

whole situation should be reported to the manager of the resident, thereby reaching out to you, which is our urgent need for solving the whole problem as soon as possible. I hope that you can have prompt coordination for

this

Linking Words

issue. Yours faithfully, Shay Jones

shaoyuzhu08Wed Aug 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph contains a single idea. In some instances, multiple ideas are present which can dilute the impact of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Instead of using 'As a freshman who just started a hectic academic life,' consider rephrasing for clarity e.g., 'As a freshman who has just begun a demanding academic journey.'

task achievement

To improve task achievement, specify alternative ways the noise issue could be mitigated, like restrictions on work hours or soundproof barriers.

task achievement

The letter maintains a polite and respectful tone, suitable for writing to a university governor.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and correctly formatted.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

201 words

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