Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people feel that
music
plays it is simply a form of
entertainment
Accept comma addition
entertainment, however
however
, others group thinks it is an important role in society.
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and give individual perspective thought out the following paragraph.
Music
is very normal for every type of
entertainment
it can help to represent the mood and,
also make
Accept comma addition
also, make
the audience more connected with the shows. The clearest example of
this
is when you watch any things about
entertainment
undeniable that
music
are very important people are using songs to make it more complete, so sometimes it might make people bored with the same pattern that every type of
entertainment
need
music
.
On the other hand
,
music
play is very important in society, it can help people to psychotherapy. People believe that
music
is used just for entertaining,
however according
Accept comma addition
however, according
to the research shows that people tend to used musics to heal them self when people feel blue or have any problem.
For example
, when I have any problem I always open my favourite songs,
music
is more than you think it can be your friends and understand you.
Moreover
, it can vent artist problems by they write the songs and present it to the audience In conclusion, I understand that song is a very normal thing for
entertainment
,
however listen
Accept comma addition
however, listen
to
music
can make your felling better. I believed that
music
is important in all society, not just use for
entertainment
,
also
it can be the job I trust that people who love playing songs are one that can be under pressure.
Submitted by Bank on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: