Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Environment has always been a divisive topic in recent years.
Although
many people think that the extinction of flora and fauna species is the biggest global environmental issue, I agree with those who agree that some other must-resolve problems should be paid more attention to.
On the one
hand, it is undeniable that the significant consequences of the loss of plants and wild animals pose a threat to the environment. The main of which is that the endlessly increasing number of specific species which are on the brink of extinction is worth considering. This
is particularly the case for Chinese pandas, one
of the endangered animals that are predicted to vanish due to
illegal hunting, leading to an imbalanced ecosystem. Besides
that, human actions could also
result in the surrounding habitat destruction. Therefore
, the public should take responsibility for protecting the natural habitat of creatures in an attempt to maintain their existence.
On the other hand
, I contend that further
environmental problems should be emphasized. One
of them could be water pollution. This
is because a massive number of factories often discharge toxic chemical waste into rivers and oceans without a proper treatment process, which can put aquatic creatures at a disadvantage to be able to disappear. In addition
, deforestation is one
of the major factors that have a detrimental impact on the environment. This
can be explained by the fact that the deforestation crisis and wildfires are increasingly becoming more serious because of human beings. As a result
, this
causes numerous extreme weather including hurricanes, floods, and droughts, which might lead to the devastating destruction of the accommodation of humans.
In conclusion, despite the opinion that the extinction of plants and animals is the most urgent environmental problem, I hold the view that much more emphasis should be placed on water pollution and deforestation.Submitted by phamnhung275 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph develops a distinct point, and your conclusion neatly summarizes your argument. However, work on linking your paragraphs more cohesively.
task achievement
You effectively answered the question, providing a balanced discussion of both views presented alongside your own opinion. You also presented clear and comprehensive ideas. Make your examples more specific and relevant to the issue at hand for higher scores.
lexical resource
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, avoid unnecessary repetition of words or phrases. Using a greater variety of synonyms would improve your lexical resource score.
grammatical range accuracy
Your grammatical range is excellent. You're able to use a mix of simple and complex sentences to express your ideas. There are few errors with your subject-verb agreement, tense use and punctuation. Ensure to proof-read your work for minimal errors.