In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These dáy, they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What massage does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Several decades ago, the aim’s athletes were to win a competition and to break the new world records. Nowadays, it seems to have changed, since many young sports persons consider it as the opportunity to become a celebrity or to earn more money.
This
practice causes lots of harmful impacts.
This
following essay will discuss about how effect to the young generation in general and the athletics
in particular
. Basically, professional players are highly paid these days. The condition has led them a luxurious or glamorous lifestyle, and many of them are married to a famous actress or a supermodel, which make generations misunderstandings of its basic competitions. Sport leagues are becoming commercialised as they need the money to pay these athletes.
This
perspective toward sport could have a bad impact on it.
Subsequently
, young people will find it as a tool to make a living on it, not to benefit from the emotional gain that sports offers.
Furthermore
, the athletics players with the materialistic mindset would find ways to cheat or to attract attention from the public,
instead
of putting real efforts into practicing and trying to win. The core values of sports, which are fair-play and genuine passion would be undermined and neglected. Many games are showing more of an individual attraction rather than a solid teamwork. All in all, prize money and fame are huge motivations for athletes.
However
, concentrating too much on them makes the
sport players
Accept comma addition
sport, players
lose focus on training. If they can combine the encouragement with their practice approximately, success will come to them
Submitted by hoangthithuylinh26081999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: