IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternatives ways to decrease crime. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #prison #sentences #decrease #crime #alternatives
There is no doubt that a person should be sentenced to prison for an offence. While many think that longer
jail
time
 is the best option to reduce crime, I believe there are different methods that can be useful.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, locking up citizens for more
time
 decreases their interaction with the outside world.
This
 can be necessary because people often commit
second
 crime after coming back from prison.
For example
, most of the offenders who committed a murder are likely to repeat it in a decade. If they are in
jail
 for more than that amount of years, it can reduce the murder rate drastically.
Furthermore
, increased
time
 behind bars gives a criminal more years to repent.
This
 can be very important for a person to realise their mistake, and start a new life in society.
On the other hand
, I think activities like social services with decreased
jail
time
 is better.
This
 is because, it will keep an offender busy.
For instance
, individuals who are sentenced to some work like cleaning roads, shows excellent improvement in their behaviour.
In contrast
, if we look at a prison environment, people tend to get more violent, there are always fights going on, and they have to participate in order to survive.
In addition
, social services give people some income. With
this
 they feel, they are
also
 a part of the society.
This
 helps them recover faster. In conclusion,
although
 in some cases longer
jail
time
 is the only way, but if we want to heal the criminal permanently, keeping them occupied in social service is a better option.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Community policing
  • Economic development
  • Reintegration
  • Punitive measures
  • Inhumane conditions
  • Overcrowding
  • Social services
  • Tailored approaches
  • Public sentiment
  • Root causes
  • Taxpayer burden
What to do next:
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