Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
It is true that many advanced
countries
are helping weak countries
in different ways. While
it would be beneficial to aid them with financial issues, I agree that it is not enough to tackle this
problem for many reasons that I will discuss them
in Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
essay.
I believe that all the problems would not be solved just by money because of these reasons, Firstly
, in countries
where people are living with low incomes and low amounts of financial resources, they definitely cannot afford educational facilities for themselves and their future generations. It would be better to provide this
type of equipment for them such
as building schools, sending some educated people there. secondly
, having industrial infrastructure will be an effective solution to address poverty by creating job opportunities for unemployed individuals. finally
, a number of families in these communities are suffering from various diseases and insufficient treatment, therefore
, powerful governments can help them by implementing hospitals and sending medicines and expertise.
On the other hand
, all the things that I mentioned are required money, so financial resources are important too and without enough money, it will be impossible to help them. Additionally
, having a good approach and planning and considering a budget for helping other societies is a political decision for developing countries
, it boosts their power over the world and makes them popular.
In conclusion, financial aid alone is insufficient, developing infrastructure and encouraging trade can be more effective. Reach governments have the power to change the situation for poor people all around the world by considering financial resources for providing necessary equipment in health care, educational system, and industrial development.Submitted by ostorr7213 on
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task achievement
While the essay covers the fundamental aspects of the topic, providing more specific examples or data can strengthen your arguments. Mentioning a specific country or a particular program that has been helped can add depth to your points.
coherence cohesion
You have organized your essay well, but make sure to use transition words more effectively to enhance the logical flow. Words like 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'however' can help readers follow your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Expanding on the introduction to set a clearer context and background for the discussion will further engage the reader from the beginning.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided a balanced viewpoint, which is essential in IELTS Task 2 essays.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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