3. The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the socity they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Handheld devices
such
as smartphones offer us various forms of stress-relieving, of which the most ubiquitous are video games.
However
, they
also
potentially bring about negative impacts on players and their community. I completely agree with
this
statement and in
this
essay I shall provide evidence to support my perspective.
Firstly
, video games on smartphones are designed to be appealing and addictive. Games impress and attract people by their fascinating graphics and intriguing gameplay, which allow people to interact with others across the world and drawn into the virtual world for hours.
For example
, children are the easiest to become addicted to online fighting games as they would waste days and nights to complete virtual missions, collect
game
items and compete with the others while neglecting their study and real life relationships, leading to soaring rates of absenteeism in schools and deteriorating health conditions amongst youngsters.
In addition
, office workers who can conveniently log into mobile games during their work hours are often distracted and perform less efficiently.
Secondly
, there is a lack of censorship applied to
game
contents which may negatively influence one’s behaviour and thinking. For a
game
to be attractive, brutal actions are displayed as much as possible to show off its graphics. These scenes contribute largely to how
game
players, especially children, would violently behave towards their peers and adults.
For instance
, a psychological research suggested that early engagement of online action games would cause children to be more aggressive and likely to use force in solving a problem rather than words. In concluding, I would like to reiterate my perspective that availability of video games on mobile devices for entertainment purpose potentially has detrimental impacts on players because of its addictive and violent nature.
Submitted by thaovuphuong19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: