The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of Japanese tourist market.

The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of Japanese tourist market.
The bar chart indicates how the
number
of tourists travelling changed in Japan over the
period
1985 to 1995.The line graph represented
contribution
Correct article usage
the contribution
show examples
of Australian tourists in
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
tourist market in the percentage term.
According to
the bar chart, there was a significant rise from about 5
million
to 11
million
in the first five years of the
period
. After that, the trend showed a moderate decline to just over 10
million
in a year.
The
Change preposition
For the
show examples
rest of the
period
, the
number
of travellers held an upward trend and reach its peak of over 15
million
in 1995. Turning to the line graph, the
number
of people who came from Australia as a tourist increased
from2
Correct your spelling
from 2
% to 4% till 1988. There was growth again to over 6% between 1989 and 1993 after a slight decline
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
1988 to 1989.
At the end
of the
period
, the percentage
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
6%.
Overall
, the
number
of travellers from abroad increased in Japan during the
period
. There was a corresponding rise in
contribution
Add an article
the contribution
show examples
of Australians.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, period, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist market
  • overseas travel
  • tourism industry
  • international campaigns
  • economic prosperity
  • travel preferences
  • market share
  • fluctuations
  • peak
  • trend
  • attracting
  • destination
  • variability
  • contributing factors
  • currency exchange rates
  • speculate
  • tourism policies
  • competitive markets
  • popularity
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