Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

In the current situation, many
children
are faced with various pressures from their
parents
to become successful in their future
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
, it might cause a lot of problems later. In my opinion,
this
might have more drawbacks than advantages. One important reason for the escalating parental pressure on their child is the competition to achieve better academic studies. That
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in many Asia societies where many families want their
children
to put much effort into studying without having any time to rest or having precious experiences in high school life so, the
children
do not understand what value of their life because their
parents
always make orders and they just obey just like a robot.
Furthermore
,
parents
’ expectations may make the
children
have a chance to mentally break down after they cannot reach the goal
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they wish.
Moreover
, making some strict regulations on the
children
like they should study hard to be better than anyone else or choosing friends for them made
children
feel very uncomfortable.
This
pressure may be one reason that makes any
children
not want to share their expression or even have a conversation with their
parents
. The worst case for creating a variety of rules is the
children
think that home is not their safe zone and do not intend to stay with their families anyone. In conclusion,
parents
who love to put their youngsters under great tension create many troubles and it never ends well from my previous experience. From my perspective, every family should have enough time to spend with their
children
to know what they are thinking and to be the guardian to guide their youngsters towards the end with priceless love.
Submitted by prinkarn333 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your introduction, specify the scope of the discussion more precisely, e.g., mention the societal or cultural contexts if relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and stick to it. Avoid mixing several ideas in one paragraph.
task achievement
Using more specific examples could help to illustrate your points better and make them more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task appropriately, discussing both the reasons for parental pressure and the impact of this pressure.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The language used is clear and understandable with a good range of vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: