When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A few individuals,
while
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choosing a career believe that the money that they will receive from it is the most crucial factor because it can affect the quality of their lifestyles. Others think the most significant aspect of it is to love the profession since it is a long-term commitment and it is essential to enjoy what you do. Both perspectives have their merits and
this
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essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
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with, a high salary is crucial for many humans because it provides financial stability and a good quality of life. That's to say, well-paying occupations allow people to cover their basic needs, spend time with family, travel to new places, and enjoy various forms of entertainment.
For instance
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, an interview was taken with a young girl, called Maria, who has a financial problem but she has a goal to solve the issue and help her parents. She enrolled in university and is studying to become a lawyer. Despite the fact that the field is not suited for her at all, she chose it because of the salary. She dreamed of seeing the world and sharing those experiences with her family.
In addition
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, financial stability can reduce stress and improve
overall
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well-being.
As a result
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, when people do not have to constantly worry about covering their expenses, they can focus more on personal growth.
On the other hand
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, being happy with one’s job is essential for long-term well-being and career growth. So, when men and women enjoy their work, they are more motivated, productive, and likely to achieve success in their professional lives.
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, statistics given by a website called Dzen.ru have shown that loving one’s work enables a person to achieve success and find joy in what they do.
Additionally
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, passion can lead to motivation and a strong desire to keep striving. In conclusion, people should strive to find a balance between a steady income and doing something they love, so they can feel satisfied both at work and in their personal lives. In my opinion, whilst a good salary offers financial stability, enjoying the job is more important for lasting happiness and success in our careers.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all points made align more clearly with the main argument and support your stance, particularly in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow by using more cohesive devices to link ideas between paragraphs effectively.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your examples or provide additional specific details to bolster your arguments further, making sure they relate directly to your points.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively introduces both perspectives on job selection, presenting a balanced discussion of salary versus job satisfaction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, enhancing readability and organization.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • quality of life
  • basic needs
  • save for the future
  • afford luxuries
  • sign of success
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • emotional well-being
  • fulfilling job
  • higher productivity
  • sense of accomplishment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work opportunities
  • good benefits
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • professional development opportunities
  • subjective
  • individual needs
  • life circumstances
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