Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

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Nowadays, an unhealthy lifestyle is well-known among

youngsters

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, and it needs the authority of

parents

Use synonyms

and educational institutions to handle

this

Linking Words

obstacle. Both play a crucial role in controlling

youngsters

Use synonyms

' activities and habits. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss some reasons. First and foremost, children spend most of their time at

school

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studying and socializing with friends and teachers.

For instance

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, in my country, pupils spend six or seven hours a day, five days a week at

school

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Thus

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, schools can control what

food

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and drink they consume and use devices only for calling their

parents

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or relatives to pick them up at

school

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. As a solution, schools should provide a canteen or café selling healthy

food

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at affordable prices and create rules about reducing screen time,

such

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as using laptops and mobiles.

In addition

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, educational institutions can create rules for them to do physical exercise twice a week or do some extracurricular activities relating to sports,

such

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as jogging and playing badminton, football, and basketball.

On the other hand

Linking Words

parents

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play a fundamental role in caring for children, especially in childhood. They can control how much time their kids spent to play video games, watching television, or surfing social media at home.

Therefore

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, they should decrease the chance of children eating out or buying unhealthy

food

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like fast

food

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or fritters.

Furthermore

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, they can prepare the packed meals that

youngsters

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bring to

school

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daily and curb the allowance. In conclusion, educational institutions and

parents

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have pivotal roles in resolving these issues. They should collaborate to create a healthy lifestyle for

youngsters

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at home and

school

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, resulting in a better generation in the future.

Crowns Wed Feb 28 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance your essay by introducing more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and make the text flow more naturally.

Task Achievement

While you provide relevant examples, consider adding more detailed and varied instances to strengthen your main points further and enhance reader engagement.

Task Achievement

Work on developing your ideas further by providing in-depth analysis and reflection on the causes and implications of the unhealthy lifestyle among children, and how parents and schools can effectively address it.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve the logical structure, consider creating a more detailed outline before writing your essay. This will help ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and supports your overall argument effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think it is more important to spend public money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possible solutions?