Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?
Nowadays, an unhealthy lifestyle is well-known among
youngsters
, and it needs the authority of parents
and educational institutions to handle this
obstacle. Both play a crucial role in controlling youngsters
' activities and habits. I agree with this
statement, and this
essay will discuss some reasons.
First and foremost, children spend most of their time at school
studying and socializing with friends and teachers. For instance
, in my country, pupils spend six or seven hours a day, five days a week at school
. Thus
, schools can control what food
and drink they consume and use devices only for calling their parents
or relatives to pick them up at school
. As a solution, schools should provide a canteen or café selling healthy food
at affordable prices and create rules about reducing screen time, such
as using laptops and mobiles. In addition
, educational institutions can create rules for them to do physical exercise twice a week or do some extracurricular activities relating to sports, such
as jogging and playing badminton, football, and basketball.
On the other hand
, parents
play a fundamental role in caring for children, especially in childhood. They can control how much time their kids spent to play video games, watching television, or surfing social media at home. Therefore
, they should decrease the chance of children eating out or buying unhealthy food
like fast food
or fritters. Furthermore
, they can prepare the packed meals that youngsters
bring to school
daily and curb the allowance.
In conclusion, educational institutions and parents
have pivotal roles in resolving these issues. They should collaborate to create a healthy lifestyle for youngsters
at home and school
, resulting in a better generation in the future.Submitted by Crowns
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay by introducing more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and make the text flow more naturally.
Task Achievement
While you provide relevant examples, consider adding more detailed and varied instances to strengthen your main points further and enhance reader engagement.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas further by providing in-depth analysis and reflection on the causes and implications of the unhealthy lifestyle among children, and how parents and schools can effectively address it.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider creating a more detailed outline before writing your essay. This will help ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and supports your overall argument effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...