IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
The idea that governments take the big responsibility to enhance the public service.
Although
, some people think governments focused on arts, music and theatre, but they disagree about
this
 because there have necessary things can make the country perfect of service method. As I shall argue, taking control to improve the state which needs a plan of governments to achieve satisfaction to all people. Having arts in life is important to increase the rate of economic.
For example
, the famous people or building has taken place anywhere that can help the level of tourism increase.
In addition
, nowadays using music in medical would be like treatment.
For example
, have a large number of survey said the effect of music to relax. Governments are playing the most roles to give a good utility that led to develop the environment which helps to complete our life without any problems. If they have a satisfying life can guide a person to live more comfortably.
For instance
, disabled people need a lot of things assistance
such
 as use a public transport and sometime in work. To sum up, governments should make balance to distribute the money dependent about the necessary things.
However
, they have the chance to increase the economy by using arts or improve service.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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