IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have a great influence in shaping people’s idea. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#mass #media #television #radio #newspapers #influence #people’s #idea
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It is a common belief that the mainstream media has been affected an individual’s horizon. In my point of view, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and will shed some light on the reasons which have shaped my opinion. The mass media play a significant role in changing a personal idea since it provides a wide range of information and knowledge for people. They are able to have more opportunities to learn more concepts, especially in the professional through TV, radio or newspapers.
For example
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, around 100 years ago, people did not know how to deal with diabetes.
However
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, they can collect useful information since there are a variety of resources that give specific ideas to them.
This
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 shows that proper data can help people to develop their notions about health.
Therefore
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, the media has improved people’s concepts in the specific field. On the one hand, the mainstream media have changed people’s perceptions
to
Suggestion
of
 politics as they are readily exposed to these issues. In the past, it was challenging for them to take part in politics as a citizen since they did not recognize what exactly happened to society.
However
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, via media, people are likely to keep up with the latest materials. According to research, due to the development of the mass media, the proportion of people who attend election has been considerably increased.
Thus
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, it helps public to have an interest in politics. In conclusion, in my opinion, the improvement of the mainstream has an excellent impact on shaping people’s ideas because the public has recognized the importance of social issues as well as useful information.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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