Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#topic #music #world #country

Other than writing and painting,

music

is another prevalent form of art, using the artistic rhythm of sounds.

Music

is of great essence to us for various reasons, and I believe traditional

music

is more important than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common international

music

Music

teaches us many things about life. As children, we live in the sweet lullabies about family that our mothers sing to us at night until we fall asleep. Later in life, we are able to understand more profoundly about love

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

passion and other virtues through many songs.

Music

also

for relaxation because we listen to

music

when we are

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

or sad. Its soothing melodies can drive away all the pressure and frustration that we have to face every day.

And for

Correct word choice

For

show examples

many people,

music

is a form of escapism from the suffocation of their lives since they can find serenity in

music

. From my perspective, traditional

music

should be more valued than international

music

which has gained so much popularity all over the world. International

music

is merely catchy and appealing, but its lyrics have no virtuous or meaningful messages. Especially

this

kind of

music

has recently been used for commercial purposes to promote

reputation

Add an article

the reputation

show examples

of a business in the global market, so it has no

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

at all. Traditional

music

, on the other hand, conveys the culture and history of a country which will

last

for eternity. It not only connects the past to the present but

also

represents the identity of

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

who live in that country. In conclusion,

music

is undoubtedly necessary for human beings, and I always believe that the role of traditional

music

should be more recognized than that of international

music

. (282 words)

Mon Mar 30 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

some people believe that it is best to accept bad stiuation others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries, a small number of people earn extreamly high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that Governments should not allow salaries above a criteria level. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Disscus both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermakets rather than small shops or local markets. Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.