IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage
In many countries, females no longer sense the urge to tie a knot. Some folks think that women are not planning to wed because women are becoming more self-sufficient and they are the breadwinners of their own.
Thus
, the financial prosperity that marriage can bring is no longer a momentous factor for them. I partly agree with the given statement as there are more reasons for
this
 reluctance. The importance of financial security for women's wedding used to be inevitable but Nowadays, with the economic development throughout the world and the rise of job opportunities and living costs, most of the women are going to work and have a decent income.
Therefore
, they care less about livelihood as a pivotal factor for marriage and put their concentration mostly on their career or studies. There are
also
 some other reasons for
this
 unwillingness.
For instance
, they can be over expectations for women and loss of freedom. Because before marriage, there are no restrictions on girls to go outside their home.
Also
, they can do anything which they want.But after the merger, ladies have to follow the norms of another home. It
also
 puts pressure on the female person’s mind regarding their duties towards her in-laws-family.
For example
, according to a survey, women did not want to marry because another family
did not wanted
Suggestion
did not want
 them to continue their job so, they neglected to get married.
On the other hand
, a wedding is a beautiful relationship between two souls and families.
Furthermore
, both the partners support each other as well as, they share their emotions or feelings with each other. Due to it, their understandability is increased which leads to a happy life. To conclude, my firm conviction is that the main reason for
this
 reluctance is women's Self-sufficiency but it is not only the factor that they don’t feel the need to get married.
Submitted by aparna4691 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: