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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Increased car ownership has led to serious traffic congestion in cities. Do the benefits of owning a car outweigh the disadvantages?

Increased growth of owned
vehicles
Use synonyms
 has created serious
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams in urban areas.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 owning a
car
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 has drawbacks
such
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 as it leads to
traffic
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 congestion and the need to spend a lot of money on maintenance and fuel costs, there are benefits like no need to wait for public transportation and it gives more comfort and a smooth ride.
Therefore
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, the benefits of owning a
car
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 with their own
car
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 can lead to increased
traffic
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 congestion
due to
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 which some important
vehicles
Use synonyms
 get stuck in that situation like an ambulance or school bus.
Moreover
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, those who have their own cars need to spend more money on maintenance and fuel consumption.
This
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 will disbalance the utilization of income because sometimes there is unnecessary expenditure on cars.
For example
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,
people
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 with numerous
vehicles
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 do not save money for their future needs.
On the other hand
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, having a
car
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 there is no need to wait for public transportation.
As a result
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, no one will get late to reach their destination.
Furthermore
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, ownership of a
car
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 can lead to giving you more comfortable space and a smooth enjoyable ride. Because of
this
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people
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 will never waste their time to reach anywhere.
For instance
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, researchers have revealed that 90% public has their own
car
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 gives them immense pleasure in their lives. In conclusion, there are increased problems with
traffic
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 congestion on a daily basis.
People
Use synonyms
 should use their cars whenever there is a need
otherwise
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 can use public
vehicles
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Expand your main points with more details.
coherence
Use clearer linking words between ideas.
task achievement
Make sure all arguments are well supported with examples.
task achievement
You present clear main ideas.
coherence
Your introduction outlines the topic well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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