IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To identify the notion of
happiness
Use synonyms
 is considered complicated and the majority accept that money would not be the main source of
happiness
Use synonyms
. Distinctive factors or a mixture thereof can lead to the emergence of
happiness
Use synonyms
 in human life. Determination of
happiness
Use synonyms
 is tough because of its characteristics. On the one hand, abstract nature of notion makes it changeable. From a scientific view,
this
Linking Words
 is a hormonal change within the body which happens during a specific period of time,
as a result
Linking Words
 of events whilst others can assert that it is a more general notion that can refer to our whole lifetime. If the perception of
happiness
Use synonyms
 is asked from two persons, their answers will probably be different which are mostly affected by their lifestyles. A variety of thoughts hinder to find out the proper definition of
happiness
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, expression of emotions makes it difficult to measure.
For instance
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 Danish people are considered the happiest nation mainly because of their living conditions, from the individual perspective, the measurement will not be the same because individuals will not be consciously aware of their
happiness
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, without any expression results will be misleading. The
second
Linking Words
 point is
related to
Suggestion
relates
 the factors can help people to achieve
happiness
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, there are internal and external points having an impact on
happiness
Use synonyms
 level. The main internal factor is expectations. They define our satisfaction lev
el which co
Accept comma addition
level, which
n
secutively create an
Suggestion
consecutively creates
 appropriate situation to feel
happiness
Use synonyms
. Choosing personally right expectations would be key
determinant to
Suggestion
a key determinant
key determinants
 be happy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the external factors can change individuals’ expectations. Satisfactory circumstances of life, it can be governmental or global processes, should be adjusted by humanity which are large scale actions. In conclusion,
happiness
Use synonyms
 level can be raised with the right steps in the individual and societal lives,
however
Linking Words
 distinctive identification of
happiness
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: