Many people believe that music has an important role in society while others believe that it is only a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment

According to some

music

could play a major role in society

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however

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opponents believe that it is

only good way

Suggestion

the only good way

to relax and form of entertainment.

Although

two sides

Suggestion

the two sides

have strong arguments

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the former point seems more justifiable to me when

comapare

examine and note the similarities or differences of

compared

with the latter one. On the one hand

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music

is the best way to relieve stress

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tiredness which are generated from the side of people work and studies

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I think.So people consider that

music

is very important.I could share

this

view as when people listening their favourite

music

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they feel euphoric

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happy and relaxed.

Furthermote it

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Furthermore, it

Furthermore it

also

good transition

Suggestion

a good transition

from

stressful work environment

Suggestion

a stressful work environment

towards relaxing domestic entertaining lifestyle, I believe Japan based research could be good example here to prove my stand.Workers who have a very demanding job always stress out

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Suggestion

they listen to their favourite

music

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they

Suggestion

They

tend to be

energetic fast

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energetic, fast

and can continue their work properly.

On the other hand

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it might be time for only

relaxition

(physiology) the gradual lengthening of inactive muscle or muscle fibers

relaxation

from opponents' perspectives

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They do not understand the value of

music

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in my opinion. To be more precise

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it is not

only form

Suggestion

the only form

entertainment but

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entertainment, but

also

proper

triggerer

lever that activates the firing mechanism of a gun

trigger

triggers

treasure

to enhance

children

Suggestion

children's

communication

skill

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I think.

In other words

children who are brought up with

music

as long as their kindergarten age

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they tend to possess good

communication

skill

.And I mean they are highly likely become sociable adults

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It brings about they can make

faithfull

steadfast in affection or allegiance

faithful

friends easily

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Moreover

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children that have good

communication

skill

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they could overcome any difficult condition easily

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I guess. To conclude

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music

is not only

entertaining activity but

Suggestion

an entertaining activity, but

an entertaining activity but

paramount way

Suggestion

a paramount way

to clear minds

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relieve stress.What is more it is

also

vital in

children

Suggestion

child's

children's

communication

skill

development.For

this

reasons

Suggestion

reason

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I am strongly convinced that by

first side

Suggestion

the first side

Submitted by rozimboyhamidov on Sat Apr 04 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that music has an important role in society while others believe that it is only a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As a result of tourism and the increased number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

These days, more and more people prefer to use shared transport such as buses, trams or carsharing applications on their smartphones rather than driving their own cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.