There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Over the years, as the rate of literacy rises across the globe,

this

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phenomenon has resulted in terms of added pressure mounting for adolescents to do well in their studies so as to succeed when they graduate.

This

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has caused a handful of people to carry an opinion that schools should eliminate non-academic

subjects

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like physical education and culinary

classes

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so that

students

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will be able to focus on their essential academic topics

instead

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. In

this

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essay, I will delve into both sides of the coin and provide an explanation as to why I disagree with

this

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statement.

To begin

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, in the current climate of the job market, it is important to excel in school. With that piece of qualification, there is no doubt that opportunities will come knocking on your door. As

such

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, by eliminating the non-essential

subjects

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, more time could be used to focus on a more complicated subject which requires more practice

for example

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mathematics and physics. Learning could be optimised and will

also

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allow teachers more time to aid weaker

students

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For example

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, it is reported

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that in Sweden, they only have a few

subjects

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for the

students

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to focus on, so as to streamline the time taken to prepare for their examinations.

This

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has resulted in a hundred passing rate in all their examinations and

students

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are all employed even before graduation.

Although

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, with the above being said, as important as essential

subjects

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to be, in a holistic point of view, schools

also

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have the duty to relay messages

as well as

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knowledge to their

students

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about physical wellbeing through physical education and dietary wellbeing by means of culinary

classes

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This

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will allow learners to

also

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learn about what they doing and putting into their bodies.

Also

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this

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will allow

students

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to discover their passion outside of just regurgitating information the entire day.

Students

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who dislike studying will have the opportunity to find an alternate path of their own through these lessons as well. In an example from Norway,

students

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are introduced to a myriad of

classes

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for instance

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gardening, for

students

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gain a better perspective of life outside of study. In conclusion,

although

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it is important to excel at school, I disagree with the statement that removing less essential

subjects

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from their curriculum as there are

also

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things to learn for learners holistically.

Classes

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like physical education will instil the importance of keeping healthy and as we all know, health is the greatest wealth.

chubbybunnyFri Apr 05 2024

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Task Response

Your essay presented a well-rounded discussion on the importance of both academic and non-academic subjects in school curricula. Expanding on the implications of removing non-academic subjects could further enhance your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to include a more diverse range of sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic flexibility. Variation in sentence lengths and structures can enrich your text.

Introduction

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the ensuing discussion and clearly outlines the argument.

Support

Good use of examples from Sweden and Norway to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Coherence

You successfully maintained a logical flow throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

411 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Word Count

you and some friends ate meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you wre very pleased with the food and sevise.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home . this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?