IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illnesses
People are increasingly suffering from sickness
as a result
 of
stress
.
This
 essay will discuss the main causes of
stress
-related sickness, including longer working hours and increased job pressures.
This
 is a bit
also
 suggest solutions
this
 column is good in improving one’s
work
 life balance and
diet
. People are working longer hours than ever before. In additions they have more job pressures. People place themselves under these unfavourable conditions because the workforce is a competitive domain.
For example
, some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job.
This
 often results in mental and physical suffering because they have to
work
 overtime and take on additional roles which can be stressful. Maintaining a good
work
-life balance and improving one’s
diet
 are both critical to mitigating
stress
 related illnesses. People need to realize that if they live only for
work
, they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor
diet
 will
further
 exacerbate these issues.
For example
, many employees burn out from working too much neglecting family, friends, exercise and hobbies as well as the foods they eat.
Therefore
, in order to reduce
work
, one must include a better ratio of
work
, rest, recreation and dietary sustenance. In conclusion, in today’s fast paced world more and more people are becoming ill
as a result
 of
stress
.
This
 essay discussed how
stress
 is often caused by long working hours and intense workplace pressure.
This
 essay
also
 suggested that the solutions to
this
 problem are twofold: to manage a better
work
-life balance and to eat a healthier
diet
.
Submitted by mandar.pawaskar27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress-related illnesses
  • hypertension
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • modern lifestyle
  • work pressure
  • technological advancements
  • social pressures
  • material wealth
  • work-life balance
  • mindfulness
  • meditation
  • stress management
  • flexible working hours
  • telecommuting
  • mandatory vacation
  • educational programs
  • mental health
  • supportive work environment
  • counseling services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: