Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinio

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Introduction

Numerous

parents

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believe that their child needs to join extracurricular

activities

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, as it is a good option to boost

children

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's physical and brain development,

as well as

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make them healthier, and improve their social skills.

In contrast

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, others say that

this

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choice may pressure the

children

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because there are a lot of

activities

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and

parents

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' high

expectations

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towards them. In my opinion, I think

children

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still need to do those exercises, but at the same time,

parents

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must control their

expectations

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and not enforce their

children

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too much.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, extracurricular

activities

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offer huge benefits for the

children

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To begin

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with, it will significantly stimulate

children

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's physical and non-physical development.

For instance

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, exercises like gymnastics and swimming have a good impact on developing their strong motoric skills.

Furthermore

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, these workouts

also

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make the

kids

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become healthier, as it drives them to be more active.

In addition

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, by joining that community, the

children

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can improve their social capabilities, as they are going to meet new friends.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, tons of

activities

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as well as

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parents

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' high

expectations

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can burden the

children

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. Nowadays,

parents

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usually set tight schedules for their

kids

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such

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as school, tutoring, and extracurricular

activities

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from Monday to Sunday (from dusk till down).

As a result

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, the

children

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can get tired easily and lose interest in hobbies that they once liked.

Moreover

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, when they try to communicate

this

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, their

parents

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often demand high commitment and discipline.

Therefore

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this

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situation can lead to high pressure for the

children

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doing those tasks.

Conclusion

In conclusion, extracurricular clubs brings good impact for the

children

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by boosting their physical and brain development, making them healthy, and improving their social abilities.

However

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, it can overburden them when

parents

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establish a tight weekly plan and set high

expectations

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for their

kids

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. So, I believe

parents

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need to control their

expectations

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and treat their

kids

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nicely whenever they do not want to go. Explain smoothly and do not force the

children

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if they do not want to join the club for the day.

mimumimu

Sep 19, 2026

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task response

You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain more fully why too many activities can affect a child’s sleep, free time, or school work.

task response

Your main view is clear: activities are good when parents do not push too hard. State this in one short, direct sentence at the end of the first paragraph.

task response

Use more exact examples. For example, say that a child who has swimming, music, and extra school classes every week may have no time to rest or play.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep each body paragraph focused on one main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Some links are clear, such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” Use fewer repeated links like “Furthermore” and “In addition,” and make the link between each idea more natural.

coherence and cohesion

Make the last paragraph shorter and more direct. The final two sentences repeat the same idea about not forcing children, so join them into one clear ending.

coherence and cohesion

Check word choice in a few places because it can make the meaning less clear. For example, use “physical and mental development” instead of “physical and non-physical development,” and “from dawn till dusk” instead of “from dusk till down.”

task response

You answer every part of the question: you explain the good side, the pressure side, and your own opinion.

task response

The examples of swimming and gymnastics support your point about health and body growth.

coherence and cohesion

The four-paragraph form is easy to follow, and the two body paragraphs show the two different views clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction gives a useful map of the essay, and your conclusion returns to your main view.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinio

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in the city, while others think that bicycles are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?